I was sent this image of unknown date that illustrates Jan's big problem. Work. Pictured here is a younger Jan in a workspace, unable to make use of his genitals, and playing it off like it's a big joke. Add a few years, a few pounds, and a ton of genital hostility, and you have an image of modern-day Jan.

With apologies, Jan hasn't done much lately but sit at a desk and put on weight, but now with the summer upon him, he's getting a little more free time. Jan plus free time equals blog posts.

Jan decided to celebrate the change of the season with a brave new look from his baltic homeland. His nona or whatever sewed this up from scraps of other awful vests littering her village back in Sweden or Switzerland or wherever Boba Janni tends sheep or whatever. She also sent a giant block of choco-nut-loaf (seen here in tin foil) which I must say, was delicious, but required an entire glass of unpasturized buttermilk to with every bite.

Cousin Larry would be underwhelmed.

Not be beat a theme to death, but here we go. The theme is Jan's awful diet. The answer is "a two-pound hybrid cheese burger make from several single layer burgers frankensteined together". The question is "what is wrong with Jan". To be fair, if you were to take a concept like bachelorhood and represent it as a meal, it would not be vegetarian safe.

Gout is described as painful arthritic attacks of the joints caused by crystallization of urates within and about the joints. Words like by excruciating, sudden, unexpected, burning pain, as well as swelling, redness, warmth, and stiffness are bandied about as well. The whole deal is caused by elevated uric acid in the bloodstream.

Ragusa lists uric acid as a major ingredient after sugar and cocoa.

Jan ate three blocks of these paralyzing nougat bars and now uses a skateboard to roll between his living room and the bathroom.