JANZO

Shoes stink. Prolonged use can make them smell like a dip bowl for corn chips. Jan wore his malodorous Vans like a sockless second skin for a few months straight.

Jan developed a proximity test where a shoe's lifepan could be judged by distance of stink transferance measured in feet (p = u - ½x²).

One day he picked up a pair of replacement sneaks for his fumigated footwear and left the wretch-inducers on the sidewalk outside the store. A homeless-looking dude checked them out but wouldn't take them.