JANZO

When Jan first moved to the big city, he bought an apartment in an old loft building. The first night, he found an exposed pipe leaking in the ceiling and tried to fix it. Not being a plumber by trade, he indian wrestled it and hit it with a boot, tripping the fire alarm in the process. This all happened at that point in the night some people would call extremely early and others would call extremely late. This would please no one.

When Jan emerged from the building, everyone had already evacuated to the parking lot, many still in their nightwear. As the last one out, the new guy, with all eyes on him, looking pretty guilty, all he could say was: "what kind of dick sets a fire alarm off in the middle of the night?"

He narrowly avoided being pummeled to death by a woman.